U: Underwear

/ˈəndərˌwe(ə)r/

Synonyms: Panties, thongs, bikinis, that stuff you wear under your clothes

Definition:

Having your laundry done for you really puts life in perspective.

I was home for my first post-graduation holidays this past week, and lucky me, my mom was washing my clothes for me — including my delicates.

One day, she came into my room, solemn.

“Tal,” she said, a grave expression on her face. “I think you need some new underwear.”

“What?! What’s wrong with my underwear!? They’re fine!”

“They’re just…they’re just kind of old.”

Ouch.

I don’t know about you fashionistas, but I’ve never wasted much time or money on underwear. I usually grab a stack of 5 for $25 from Gap Body or Victoria’s Secret every once in a while and call it a day. But ever since I moved out to Los Angeles on my own and started working with a freelance journalist’s salary, my shopping habits have taken a beating. And trust me, underwear was the first thing to go.

My rationale for undergarments is that they’re not worth the cash; I mean, no one sees them anyway, 99.3 percent of the time. Sure, I’ve got a couple go-to items that are for, you know, being looked at by a privileged few, but mostly, I don’t really shell out for boy shorts. Better to spring on the $400 leather jacket than the bra that’s three layers deep, amirightladies?

…well, according to my mom, I’m wrong.

So yeah, I’m due for new underwear. And maybe, now that I’m a hip, cool grown-up, I should get out of my cotton undies into something more sophisticated. Cut to me googling “stylish women’s underwear.”

Aaaand, fade in to my round-up of “I would if I could afford it” panties. Hint, hint, wink, wink, MOM…or any of my potential future love interests.

Nude and Attitude boyshort, Hanky Panky, $37

Thirty-seven dollars? REALLY? That’s like, a whole sweater. But if I had that to throw around, these babies would be at the top of my list: a little sexy, a little badass, and a great combo of runway trends – neon, lace, and side panels.

Shelly low-rise hotpants, Cosabella, $49

These cheeky boy shorts are a work of art. The lace detailing is so stunning it makes me want to cry almost as much as the price tag does. In other news, you should check out Cosabella’s spring 2012 line: I’ve never seen underwear models look so high fashion.

Modal with Lace cheeky hipster, Calvin Klein, 3 for $30 

Nothing like CK for a timeless classic. Didn’t they, like, invent underwear? And at this price…I may just have placed an order. But only the privileged few will know for sure.